When you pull the lid off a tuna can, it makes a snapping sound as the last corner of the metal lid detaches from the side of the container. This is how I felt this past weekend. I am still buzzing with grace and love since the lid of favor continues to overflow in my life. It doesn’t mean only good things happen, but it does mean, I know how to see His goodness in all things! And yes, I feel like my heart and my soul snapped into a new place of recognizing the depth of my Father’s love. In the core of my being, I understand I am loved, but as God continues to peel the lid off my eyes- “Overwhelmed” is the only word that even comes close to my response.
I was privileged this past weekend to attend a hospital Foundation benefit for women who need cancer screenings and treatment, but can’t afford it. It was entitled, “For the Women We Love.” This function was work related but so much more for me, so I bought an extra ticket for my man. The cost of a ticket, was the cost of a mamogram. The venue was brightly decorated. There were pink cloth napkins shaped into ribbons and outlandish bras dangled from tall vases in the center of each table. On the wall were 3 twelve foot posters of women the Foundation had helped. Sitting at my table was one of these ladies - a little weathered, but none the less here! During the moving evening, the host asked every cancer survivor to stand to their feet. As I rose from my chair, I looked around the room of 400 and saw perhaps twenty five or so people who fought the fight with me. My heart was humbled as it exfoliated to expose the depth of the grace I have been afforded.
Some folks standing were not just people in the room that had fought the monster cancer, but they also were people who struggled with life issues to begin with. The crisis of cancer was the added lump of destruction- the icing on the cake, so to speak. As I heard their stories, my insides churned. The biggest enemy of their souls was gripping fear. It went from fear, and then encompassed families breaking down, loss of homes and jobs with no insurance. Fear led to despair and many were not at peace with God. I am thrilled to say, the Foundation stepped in. They treated these women with respect and were able to make a huge difference in their lives by offering free treatment! One lady was able to save her home because of their intervention.
As emotions fluctuated between my undeserving guilt and walking in kingdom grace, I mentally started taking note at the warm blanket of generosity that the Lord had draped over me and my family. My story is supernatural and nothing of my own strength. The first thing God covered me with in the very beginning, was Love. You see, Love casts out Fear. I honestly can say I never walked in fear of death or life. I win no matter what! Future and hope, I danced in. As for my hubbie, he not for sale! There are no words for his daily and continued sacrifice to me. He constantly thinks of ways to serve me or bless me and not just what he thinks he’d like to give me, but what I really want. He listens! We also weren’t hit financially, my income actually increased during treatment, because I had purchased a $30 a month Aflac cancer policy a year before –so like God to go before me! To this day, I don’t know why I bought it. There was no threat of losing my home – I actually inherited it and remodeled it! I re-tiled the bathroom during chemo! I was never in physical pain, just frustrated at the length of time for this inconvenience to end, even though I understood how serious it was. Lastly, the best part of everything has been this incredible close relationship with God like never before. His voice is so clear at times to me, I am astounded.
So I’ve been meditating on this whole thing this week. What does one do with all these overpowering feelings? SNAP?!! Well...Yes! I have finally snapped! My tuna lid is off! I’m just going to swim in God’s pure delight. I won't be able to stop myself, because it will compel me to serve even more.
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