Last Friday I found myself in a mammogram hallway with about six other women. We all had on the same dull matching medical gowns like no one had identity similar to pitiful cows with the same spots waiting for the slaughter. One has to love the designer of those garments; the string ties don’t really do much for modesty. I’ve found that a lot of times the ties are too short, misplaced or even missing. Once they are tied, you find yourself hunched forward just to tuck all your body parts in. When you sit down the flaps just gape open. Suddenly, you fill a slight breeze only to notice that you’ve just provided a peep show for an entire audience.
Scanning the hall , I looked around for someplace in particular that I should sit. This is a practice I have picked up from all my treatment. Either I can decide that I have to have treatment for things or I am sent! I choose the latter! The mammogram waiting chairs sit in front of the dressing rooms. “Hum… where would God sit with me? “ I mused. A chair opened up right in the middle of the room next to a 78 year old sad woman. Being my friendly self and trying to break the nerves of silence in the room, I asked her, “So, how we doing today?” It was then her tyrant of despair and despondency spewed into the hallway.
“I would rather be anywhere else than here.” She began wringing her hands together tightly and went on, “this place worries me.” “In fact, I worry all the time! “ “I worry for myself, because what would become of me if I’m be left behind. “I worry for my husband, if I die,” “Then there are my children – if something happens to them then my world has ended and I haven’t even got to the grandchildren yet.” “I worry, worry, and worry.”
The slightest bit of hope that was in the hallway was sucked out like someone just used a Shopvac and directly pointed the nozzle upon each and every soul in the corridor. My spirit started screaming at her words of defeat and at the ungodly power of hopelessness being released into the air and the other women. I could not contain myself! I was thinking this is funny, this woman and the others waiting for their mammogram, had no idea I was waiting for something worse – a needle biopsy and aspiration. I didn’t say a word about any of what I had been through.
Suddenly I felt her fear, I turned my head to look at this lady square in the eye so I could speak to her spirit. All ears in the room were perked up and I said softly, “there are some things in life, we just can’t control. She nodded. “But here’s the good part - there is Someone much bigger than you or I who IS in control. Where my hope ends, His begins. I am not without hope from the start of my days to the end of my days. I also don’t worry because I take that Someone with me Everywhere I go. (I could tell that she was Jewish), so I went on, “even in the Torah before a temple was built, God dwelt in a tent. Why? Because His people dwelt in tents. He lived life right where they were at. In fact, He is here right now”
Can I say the hallway got much brighter? She slowly put her hand over mine and said, “I suppose that’s true dear.” With those last words, my name was called for my treatment. As I left, I turned back and saw all the women sitting a little taller with a grins on their faces like they were waiting for the best prize ever! I smiled as well knowing I just preached to myself cause God and I were going into the next room and everything would be alright. It was -because of I AM.
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