My favorite Cowgirl

You know the cartoon with the horse that has a carrot dangling before him?  No matter how hard he chases that orange delight, it’s always about 12 inches in front of him.  Well… there you have it- my secret nightmare.   I am terrified that I will be caught in some wind tunnel, and off will go my wig.  Despite my best efforts, I will run and run only to have it blow out of reach.  It will be a never ending game. Did I mention that in my distress, I’d be running billiard bald with sporadic hair strands?   Sounds funny and it probably would be, but why subject myself to public humiliation if I don’t have to?

So…  you can see my dilemma when choosing to go on vacation this year – no jet boats, no windy ocean trips,  no swimming pools and look out for campfires ( melted synthetic hair is not a good look either).   So my hubby and I took off with some good friends to the Grand Canyon and worked our way back through Las Vegas.   I was still a little anxious about this adventure concerning my hairpiece.  I like to consider myself a strong woman, but this one thing breaks me down because I think about it every minute if weather is bad.  I quietly sucked it up.

I’m pretty sure the hallmark of a good friend is someone who just is, without even trying.   I am blessed to have someone like that in my life – Kathy Hart.  When we got to the Grand Canyon the night before, Kathy being the silly girl she is, said “l’m gonna buy a cowboy hat!”  Now I thought about that, but wearing a hat is cool if you decided you want to wear one.  It is frustrating if you Have to wear one to hold things in place.  However, I looked at her beaming smile and saw her game!  We were on vacation and this was Cowboy town!   I bought a hat too. 

The next morning we woke up, put our “cowgirl “on and headed for the Canyon!   I faced wind completely fearless since I was cinched up!  We laughed and didn’t have the slighted care of what others thought of us.   Never once did I feel like Kathy was doing it for me because I was broken, she was just being Kathy!   From that one adventure it empowered me to jump in the pool at Vegas, and later in the week , sit by at campfire!   We may never catch all the carrots or things we think we must have in order to feel good about ourselves, however I’ve discovered friendship is nothing I have to chase.  It just is.  Thank you Kathy for making my trip, but mostly for being an awesome Cowgirl!

"We'ed" be happy you are gone!

This morning I had a flashback of a crazy event that took place about 6 years ago.   Doug and I had the day off, but first Doug had to drop off some papers at his work.  We parked the car in front of his building and he quickly ran in.  Patiently waiting for his return, I noticed a 5 foot weed growing in one of their well groomed planters.  It was mystifying how a gardener could miss such a thing.  It was so out of balance like a tusk of an elephant sitting on a hamster head.   I just kept staring at this oddity and my unrest to remove it, could wait no longer.  It would take just a minute or two and I’d be back in the car before Doug returned.

I jumped out of the car, grabbed that monster about a foot from ground and began yanking!  I’m pretty sure the roots of that beast had been working its way to China.  I’d rock it a little and then pull with brute force.  The top of it brushed against my face and hair causing my eyes to water.   Now I was just plain determined – it was coming out!   I had it straddled and was employing my inner woman power, when it started to give in to my demands. 

About this time my puzzled husband came out of the office.  His mouth gapped open and his blank stare had evaporated into his face, he said, “what the heck are you doing?”   I replied adamantly, “this does not belong here, so I thought I’d just take it out.” Puffing under strain, I added, “and how the heck could a gardener miss this?”   With one last pull, finally Goliath fell to David.   Doug shook his head, looked around to see if any co-workers had seen his wife’s great accomplishment, and slowly got in the car.  Satisfied and smiling, I jumped in beside him, after all -our adventure had begun for the day.

The reason I recalled that story this morning is while I was walking, I discovered yet once again another weed standing out in a planter.   I’ll let you guess how I handled it.   The reason behind my madness is not that I cannot tolerate weeds in any form, because I certainly have weeds in my garden, but it is about beauty and balance.  If by pulling one weed, it can change the look and feel of space then why not just pull it out and be done with it?  I cannot allow one little weed distraction to take away the nourishment and growth of something amazing.  Call me an oddball, but I am consumed with beauty being fulfilled!

I pondered on the thought of this truth today - Maybe God’s motivation isn’t that He is so concerned about the weeds or sin in our lives.  And most likely, He is not up there obsessing about our failures.   He is just into making us something wonderful and weeds get in the way of this process.   He wants to provide us with the best possible environment to blossom in.  With the gentle tug of His tender arms, God has a way of getting to the roots in our lives – the roots that interfere with the exquisite being He so loves.    So, today I reaffirm our relationship God; - Please continue to make me beautiful Lord! 

The Music of Easter

I’ve been trying for the last 2 weeks to walk at least a mile every morning and I’ve been increasing it slowly- I ‘m up to 3.2 miles -getting ready for a 5K.  Unfortunately, my knees have not been on the same game plan, even though I have sent them the memo!  One of the drugs I have to take (for 5 years) is horrible on the joints-almost crippling.  Jogging is out – my knees explode with the simplest of tasks, so I have resigned myself to walking.   One of the great things I have discovered is the power of music while moving.   I crack myself up – the first time I put on the earphones, I literally thought I was Rocky off to train for the greatest fight of his life.  I took off lightening speed out of the driveway.  The truth is the only difference from the day before was Music! 

The other day I read a story that my cousin’s boyfriend had posted about a weird phenomena that had occurred in Pakistan.    A huge flood covered a community so much that the residents had to evacuate.  When the people returned the water was still spread out over most of the devastated area, however the trees were completely covered with spider webs.  When the floods came, the spiders took refuge in the trees.   It was creepy and had a ghastly appearance, but there was also something amazing that happened!  The presence of all these spider webs brought forth something of life giving value– a net for the mosquitoes.  The mortality rate due to malaria is 16% in this rural area!  You can image the joyful sounds even after a devastating flood –life would continue, perhaps even stronger.   

 While walking I pondered on these two concepts.  As Easter is approaching –I’ve decided that this is exactly what Easter is… the music of life from the power of Resurrection!   We need a reality check of what Easter means Everyday!  What makes you preserve?  Maybe it’s music, the strength of friends, laughter, or even prayer.  This is what we call our encouragements, however - I call it Easter!  In the middle of a crisis, there is always a thread of wonder.  What seems hopeless or over may just be the beginning of something new.  That’s all Easter too!  I’m challenged to look at problems in a completely different light; it is a place to find the music - the music of Easter.Praises to You my Blessed Redeemer!

"Umbugelical Cord"

Umbungelical  Cord  

Definition:- the invisible cord in which a mother provides life giving advice, love and nurture to her children no matter the age.   This incredible cord has the ability to stretch to amazing lengths.  It will snatch the very core of her offspring and bounce them back to their mother’s heart.   Unlike an umbilical cord , it can never be severed. 

Today, I had a breakfast meeting with a friend from a network group.  She waited until the very end of the meeting after others had left to ask me to keep her in prayer.  I said, “sure”, “what’s up?”  I had expected something horrible and was ready to stand in the gap with prayer until heaven intervened.  With tears in her eyes, she said, (dramatic pause) “my daughter has announced she is moving to Washington.”  The fact is -her daughter is 24 and a great kid.   I smiled and encouraged her, but felt her pain.  The pain of distance as our loved ones move away from home or begin that new journey in life where they don’t  need us as much.

A week and a half ago, our youngest changed his status from dependent college student to husband.  I couldn’t be happier for him or my wonderful new daughter in law, however it tugs on the heart strings of a momma knowing he is not her little boy any longer.  I rest in the fact that my chubby little 2 year old that always made us laugh is now a grown man with dreams of his own -grounded in faith, family and friends.   Our shared umbungelical cord is intact!  

 Blessings Ben and Heather! 

My Dog, Boomer speaks “Godaneeze”

Every time I feel frustrated with the fact there are things in my life that I am still dealing with like: selfishness, lack of organization, lack of follow-through (just to name a few )- I remember my dog- Boomer.  You see, Boomer gave me a prophetic word one day – yep seriously –He speaks “Godaneeze”. 

About 3 years ago, Boomer’s daily activity greeted me as I came home for lunch.  Ripped pages, old photos, several books and several pieces of laundry strewn across my backyard.  With a new puppy, I had learned to put my valuables out of reach, but he always outsmarted me.   He’d work his way around my barricades and get to the “good” stuff.   Needless to say, like most puppy owners, I was reaching my “patience-o-meter”!    Coupled with the fact, Boomer was SO excited that Mommy was home!  Urrrr.  

I braced myself and stepped into the land of littered despair.  I gave that “I mean business buddy look” and he pranced around with his butt in air and wagged his tail.   The talk wasn’t going the way I wanted it to.  Every time I’d approach, he’d back away and dance the defiant tease.  I finally got a hold of his collar.  Up went his dirty fun filled paws on my clean white shirt and left smudges of love all over it!  I looked Boomer square in the eye and said, “THAT’S IT! YOU ARE DONE BUSTER!” 

It was about this time, I noticed a white sheet of notebook paper still hanging off his black lips.  I unglued what was left off and I couldn’t believe my eyes!  On the torn sheet of paper were these words, “God is not as consumed with who I am right now, as much as who I will become.  I am still growing and learning.”    Boomer had gotten into an old journal of mine.  This was a note I had written to myself and here it was - being played out.    I flopped on the ground beside my young destroyer and he nestled his head on my lap.   I forgot about the work clothes I had on and held him and laughed at this ridiculous situation. 

Who would have known, that my river dog would speak the heart of God?  Three years later, Boomer is still becoming, but then again - so am I.

Not wasting my Cancer

It happened again in church this morning- that place of complete unworthiness -being reminded I have been given another gift of life from God.  I get undone at times like this - thinking about all the amazing people who have fought the good fight, then lost.  It's their families that press on so joyfully still helping others that get to me.   They are ones who are champions of faith - not me.  For instance, one of our friends lost a twently something son to cancer, they are usually the first ones to pray for me.  They pray with such passion, such faith and such love that one would never know their own personal journey.  So how come I win? or better yet why did I not win?  Isn't it the question we all ask at times?   I don't deserve more than anyone else- I sin as much as the next person and all sin is equal anyway. 

    There is a reason I'm here.  It's purpose. God help me not to squander my purpose on self service. I choose to live for Him because I am His design.  My journey has taught me many things - but none so greater than this- my life is not MY life, in fact life does not belong any of us. It is a gift.  Cancer has many horrible effects attached to it, however there are some very beautiful things it does for the soul and spirit if one doesn't waste it.   I'm not wasting mine! So salty tears may run down my cheek from time to time, but only becasue I burst with the knowledge of what Grace really is.

My favorite thing at work... "yes, I'll transfer you to my Manager!"

  I'm usually just an earshot away from staff when I hear them handle a angry call   You can tell that the customer is blasting them.  They don't even have a chance to validate the customer's feelings.. Blah, Blah, Blah and then comes the words I can magically hear through the silent air-  "I want to speak to your Manager !."    The funny part is the moment the call is transferred and I address myself  and then ask "How can I help you?"  The customer's tone becomes very submissive and  as sweet as tea.  Go figure?  Seriously, what happens in those 2 or 3 micro seconds during the transfer?  It cracks me up that people cow tow to a title especially if they knew that I don't kill flies - I let them out the window.