Not wasting my Cancer

It happened again in church this morning- that place of complete unworthiness -being reminded I have been given another gift of life from God.  I get undone at times like this - thinking about all the amazing people who have fought the good fight, then lost.  It's their families that press on so joyfully still helping others that get to me.   They are ones who are champions of faith - not me.  For instance, one of our friends lost a twently something son to cancer, they are usually the first ones to pray for me.  They pray with such passion, such faith and such love that one would never know their own personal journey.  So how come I win? or better yet why did I not win?  Isn't it the question we all ask at times?   I don't deserve more than anyone else- I sin as much as the next person and all sin is equal anyway. 

    There is a reason I'm here.  It's purpose. God help me not to squander my purpose on self service. I choose to live for Him because I am His design.  My journey has taught me many things - but none so greater than this- my life is not MY life, in fact life does not belong any of us. It is a gift.  Cancer has many horrible effects attached to it, however there are some very beautiful things it does for the soul and spirit if one doesn't waste it.   I'm not wasting mine! So salty tears may run down my cheek from time to time, but only becasue I burst with the knowledge of what Grace really is.