Falling Leaves

As we sat around the campfire at Lake San Antonio, John one my friends was reflecting on some of the crazy things he did as a kid.  John had one story in particular that cracked me up but also stuck with me.  It happened when he was a young teen.  John’s folks as good parents told John and his brother they could go play after the front yard leaves were raked up.   Sounds reasonable, but it was Fall and the descending leaves dropped with the rhythm of a wind chime against a gentle breeze.   No matter how hard or fast they worked, John and his brother could not keep up with the steady stream of leaves.   

When John’s parents made a trip to town, John and his brother came up with a brilliant plan.  They climbed and crawled across every branch until every leaf attached to the tree was removed.    Needless to say the job was completed when their parents returned, but they also were in trouble. In their effort to reduce their suffering they placed the tree at risk for dying and diminished the beauty of their home.

 You see, leaves provide the area for the process called photosynthesis that we learned about in high school.   In simpleton terms, the leaves are energized by sunlight and use the carbon dioxide and water to produce a bi-product called oxygen.  The process of photosynthesis on a large scale sustains life on earth.   

What made me think of this story and chuckle?  I would love to pull off all my struggles and just go out and play.  Oh to be finally done with it!  However, I would miss an important life sustaining process.  Photosynthesis not only produces oxygen for others, but also helps feed the tree itself with the sugary sap it makes.  God is the One who is in control of how many leaves fall at a given time and when it is finally Springtime and new leaves bud.  

 Well, as you may have read earlier in my past blogs that at Christmas our family and our friends always play the Holy Spirit game.   One pulls out a “word” from a mixed bag of promises.  This word is for the next year.  Wouldn’t you know it? I pulled out the word “perseverance.”    Here’s the definition:  To persist in anything undertaken and to maintain a purpose in spite of difficulty, obstacles, or discouragement; continue steadfastly.   I am smart enough to know that if He’s given me the word, He’s also given me the strength.   There are seriously times when I wonder how many more leaves could possibly fall and when will I ever be able to just go out and play? 

I think I have learned a small secret.  Maybe instead of waiting to play after the leaves are done dropping, we should play WHILE the leaves are falling.   There is nothing like jumping in a pile of crunchy leaves or throwing them in air and yelling.     I am pleasantly surprised at how wonderful falling leaves are.  I have laughed till I cried these past few weeks at the stupidest things and craziest of places.   Am I comfortable? No.  Am I frustrated at limits? Yes.  But I have learned to play!    I’m kind of slow, but I am getting what the verse “The joy of the Lord has become my strength” means.  It is not just talking about joy when everything is honky dory.  It’s finding that joy in the falling leaves –           It is so empowering!!!

What Teleological Wonder God is!

William Paley introduced a teleological argument for the existence of God.  He likened the universe to a watch, with many ordered parts working in harmony to further some purpose. Just as the complexity, order, and purpose of a watch implies intelligent design, he suggested, so too the complexity, order, and purpose of the universe implies intelligent design.  Modern teleological arguments tend to focus on the “fine-tuning” in the universe, the fact that it is exactly as it needs to be (“fine-tuned”) to support life.
I got a great analogy of planned order and unplanned order yesterday. It reminded me of how God is in control of the big picture and interested in the fine details of even a single human.  As I lay waiting for my surgeon to take me to the operating room, Doug and I sat playing Battle Yahtzee on his Ipad.  We bantered back and forth (since we are not the least bit competitive – yeah -right! Did I mention I won? )  Doug took a look at the floor beside my bed and his eyes flickered worry.  He said, “You are bleeding out” I leaned over and saw a large puddle of blood that had started a river to my curtained neighbor’s bed.  Doug summoned help and all of the sudden we had 6 people working on the new bio-hazard I had created.  Apparently the tubing from the IV had an unseen slice in it which made my IV act as a pump onto the floor.
The funny thing is I have to donate a pint of blood next week for my surgery in subsequent weeks. I will most likely need a transfusion for that surgery.  I laughed and said, “Well, there’s my donation.”  It was there it hit me.  – An unplanned donation of blood such as yesterday has the ability to kill or render someone completely weak.  In sharp contrast,a planned donation of blood has the ability to save lives -the bible says that  “life is in the blood” How true the Word is! 
 As we look at little episode of me yesterday with blood pouring out onto the floor and put it on a macro level it is a picture of an unplanned life, unaware of what is happening around them and ultimately on a course for death. How many times do I let myself walk in this area of nonchalance not giving my all to Him or keeping Him first because I want to do what I want to do?  I’m not talking about the big issues in life; I’m talking about the fine-tuning God is interested in. It still has the power to destroy.
 The picture of a blood donation is totally different- Jesus shed his blood for us because it is part of God’s divine plan for us and it is part of His intelligent design.  He has a plan and that plan is life and life more abundantly.   How often do I stay in tune to His purpose in my life and plan accordingly?   God never misses the details in our lives. It is beyond my thoughts that He is so big to create the universe, yet so intimate to create the smallest particles with life. What an amazing wonderful God that I somehow I am part of His plan!  It’s a teleological wonder! We all have purpose!

 “Thus says the Lord: Stand by the roads and look; and ask for the eternal paths, where the good, old way is; then walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls.”    Jeremiah 6:16a

Simple Promises

We have a Christmas tradition in the Jones’ family.  It’s what we like to call the “Holy Spirit game”.   We put different spiritual promises in a bag and as friends or family stop by, they pull out a card.  They are supposed to take that word or words and let God minister that promise to them over the next year. 

I am always completely amazed by what people draw like for instance – guess what I drew this year – "Perseverance!"  I have 3 surgeries coming up in the 2 months.  Just what I need!  Two nights ago, one of my favorite people was over.  She pulled a card for herself and her fiancé.  The sad thing is her fiancé is spending Christmas in a jail cell for bad life decisions.  He has made excellent changes in his life, but now he must finish his time.  She misses him terribly and his isolation and loneliness eat at his soul.  Guess what card he pulled?  “Mercy” and hers was “Peace.”  I’d say these cards are kind of a divine gift personalized by the tenderness of God Himself. 

Well, this morning as I left for work, I grabbed the bag of cards and headed out the door.  You see, even staff at my job are into the game now.  It was windy outside and I had my arms full.  The wind ripped the bag from my hands and the little cards with their messages danced in the air.  I was in a panic! I felt like everyone’s promises were flying away like un-tethered kites.   I had to retrieve them before they were lost forever.  After a series of acrobatic stunts, while holding onto my hair, I was able to recover almost every one of them and put them back into the bag for safe keeping.

As I was driving to work, it hit me.  Wow- I really went to town trying to get all those promises back in the bag.   A few questions occurred in my spirit:

What if I sought after the promises of God with the same fervor as the cards in the wind today?

 What if I was determined to get ALL that God had for me, instead of what was easy and in my reach?

The Holy Spirit game took on new meaning for me this year.  I WILL run after Him –‘cause Lord, I want it ALL! - the whole BAG!  Make me an instrument of love as I dispense your grace in this life.  Merry Christmas Indeed!

I wanna be a buckethead

Sunday morning has a routine for Doug and me.  The Sunday after Thanksgiving was no different.  As usual we were getting in the groove for our youth service.  I was rolling a few song sets in my head and humming away.  Doug was brushing his teeth and thinking about his message for the morning centered on believing God in the impossible.   We always saved an extra hour in the morning to get our Sunday bagels, so I was grabbing my guitar and phone to get out the door.  Doug doesn’t enjoy bagels as much as I do, so I never want to give him a reason to change his mind about getting them.

Then came the phone call-  

It was Brad.  He very calmly said, “Oh, hi Lynn, we have a little problem.” “We’re in the fast lane in our car on the I-5 at a dead stop and we’ve pulled over as much as we can.”  “Something hit our car and we have two flat tires.” “Do you have an AAA card?”  I said immediately, “Brad, get off the phone, call 911 and have them give you a police escort to a safe spot!. And call me right back.  We’re on our way.”  They were about 50 minutes away. 

Brad, Bethie, and Karis were headed back to Sacramento from the holidays.  They had left Brad’s parents home in Orange County about an hour before.  Bethie was driving while Brad and Karis took a little nap.  Bethie had the Grapevine Pass in her sights.  She just passed Magic Mountain amusement park when all of the sudden the car in front of her swerved back and forth.  The swerving car was actually dodging a truck tire that the car in front of them had hit it.  Before Bethie could blink the tire slammed into the side of their small compact car making a 2 inch holes in their tires and destroying the rim. Bethie said it   sounded like a train bearing down on a small town. It woke both Brad and Karis up and the car came to a halt in a very precarious situation.  The Grapevine is home to herds of Semi trucks trying to make up time and gain enough speed to make it up the incline. The trucks were so close you could almost reach out and touch it as it passed.  The wind caused by the sheer size of their trailers shook the car every time one zoomed by.  After ten minutes of this uncertain journey, the highway patrol came to the rescue.  The patrolmen stopped traffic to help not only my young family, but also the other cars who had been struck by the tire.  They were finally moved; however the officer left them in another harrowing spot -the right side of the freeway.  They were instructed to wait for a tow truck.  

My phone rang again.

“Okay, we’re in a better spot, Lynn” I let Brad know we were about 35 minutes out now and would find them.  I asked if they felt safe.  Brad said, “I do, but I’m not so sure Bethie feels that way.”  I could hear Bethie at this point snapping at her hubby, “yeah, right Brad we’re on the edge of a Freeway with a baby- nothing to worry about” I got my answer.  I said, “We’re praying we’ll be there as soon as possible.”  Here’s the thing with the AAA towing, they will not help you if you don’t have your card in hand- baby or no baby.  As anxious as we were, there was nothing we could do, but drive. Doug and I just decided we have to trust in God. We didn’t say much and just listened to worship music to take the edge off scary.   

Thirty minutes later, we found their little white Mazda on the right hand shoulder of the I-5.  Bethie and I transferred car seat and baby to our vehicle. Doug and Brad surveyed the damage done to the Boekestein car while Bethie, Karis and I tried out exciting new versions of the “itsy bitsy spider.”  Karis enjoyed her water bottle and cookies when her hands were free from spiders going up the spout. The tow truck showed up and we exchanged information so we could finally leave the freeway.  

Wouldn’t you know it? There was a tire place open at the next exit AND a restaurant next door. Breathing a sigh of relief, we sat down and ate a good breakfast.  Karis totally enjoyed her breakfast – syrup and scrambled eggs!  What a great combo!  We walked back to the tire shop and Karis spied a candy machine.  Eight jelly beans later, we had a super excited little chimp! She found her Mac Donald’s kiddy meal bucket in her car and placed it on her head.  In full Karis form, she played tag, did her wacky walk, and “lets explore where we are not supposed to”.   It was more fun because she got a second dose of grandpa and grandma due to this whole event.

I looked at my granddaughter and got a good picture of what it means to totally trust in the care of your Father.  From an adult view, we had been scared, uncertain and helpless.  From Karis’ world, the whole extravaganza was an adventure! She yelled with delight as each truck rocked the car “truck!” Excited that she matched the word to the object and that it kept happening! And her grandparents show up from nowhere, she played games, ate goodies, went out to breakfast and found her bucket! 

I think sometimes little people have such a better understanding of who God is. They have a special wisdom that God is with them and wants to lavish His love upon us.  If we lay down our worries to dance in the moment with Him maybe we could find the joys of being a buckethead too.

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God's love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, No power in the sky above or in the earth below--indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. Neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow--not even the powers of hell can separate us from God's love. Romans 8:28-29

Today is the Day I've been given!

Extreme pressures at work, loved ones in denial, ministry not going the way it should be, studying for insurance exam and icing on the cake? – a visit with the plastic surgeon who tells me  that I will need three surgeries to put “Humpty” back together again. I was thinking one surgery.   I don’t have enough sick time left.  Now it will postpone into next year.    All of these distractions have been the video playing in my head.  

I know I’m not different than most folks by carrying the camel instead of the camel carrying my stuff.  When they took my blood pressure yesterday it was very high.   My blood pressure has always been ridiculously low in the past.  When I woke up this morning,  God told me to take a little walk with Him. I did.  

As we walked together, He gently told me that, “Today is the day, I gave you, Lynn.  I want you to know it’s the day you’ve been given and not GIVE IN! “Wow, I’ve been giving in to the pressures and letting it get to me.   Funny how quickly we do this.    It’s because we don’t realize that every breath and every heartbeat belongs to Him! – It doesn’t belong to a circumstance, a busy life,  a problem,  or a must do! You would think I’d get this by now.

Came back home with a new perspective this morning.  I Love Today!  Tomorrow’s not mine yet, but today God gave me This Day!   What will I make of it?  The best I can for Him and for others!    There is always room to grow and discover beauty beyond what is in front of me.  Even if the day doesn’t feel good, all the more reason then,  to reach out and  connect with God and others.  I will be encouraging others today to enjoy This day.   Pretty sure a very ancient friend of mine got it right when he said,” This is the Day that the Lord has made, I WILL rejoice and be glad in it!”  

I'm His Favorite!

 Tommy wrapped his finger a little tighter around his mother’s hand.  He loved their special moments together.  His mom cuddled him close and whispered, “don’t tell the others, but you are really my favorite.”   His heart soared at the thought because he was her best kept secret! 

Seventy five years later, Tommy stood at the chapel with his siblings for the funeral of his parent.   Each child stood to testify of the goodness of their mother.  Their mom’s love was far greater than any of them could have imagined, for she had a secret with each of them.   All of them had been told “don’t  tell the others, but you are really my favorite!” 

I felt that way this morning because God met me on Las Posas Road with the silliest of ways.  He made my heart soar!  You see, I’m God’s favorite!  

 As I went about my 7 am walk, I was listening to a song called “You loved me anyway” by Sideway Prophets.    It is a song about brokenness and being the worst of the worst, however God’s love penetrates beyond all reason and He loves us so unconditionally.   I was reflecting upon my leadership group at church.  We have been discussing how many of us perceive love as something that comes with performance.   Whether this notion was self imposed or something our parents did it to us, we respond as we grow older by never feeling good enough or becoming work alcoholics.   The older I get the more I’m aware of how lost and broken I am and in need of  a Savior.  You’d think I’d be focused on my outstanding Christian accomplishments and ride on the wings of angels trumpeting - how God is with me.  - Nope not by a long shot.  I think God has me just where he wants me – broken.   

  So here I am singing out loud with my earbuds on, “… and You loved me anyway…”  My arms are moving up and down to the rhythm of the beat.   My hand naturally formed a cup as it reached back with the swing of momentum; I felt it couple around something wet and soft.  FREAKED OUT, my hand jerked forward and attached to it was the juicy muzzle of a huge Pit Bull! He had spooned his jowls into the palm of my hand. 

Now, I can’t imagine of a more powerful dog. Known for their bite, hold and shake actions, I was scared to death.  This super structure would have me by the neck and I would be laid out on the sidewalk of a main thoroughfare in Camarillo.  How poetic for the dog lover that her last days on earth would end by means of a dog.  

Like receiving an heart-filled  encouragement after a rough day, so my troubles changed in that instant.   Mr. Pit Bull jumped in front of me and wagged his tail like the annoying kid in the front row at school trying to get noticed !  Let me tell you,  I NOTICED! This incredible Hulk was a cupcake!   I stroked his coarse fur and renamed him, “Lover Boy.”   He was screaming, “ you’re my favorite, you’re my favorite!,  I don’t know where he came from, but he followed me for the rest of my mile and then we turned around and walked back.  As I neared my street, Lover Boy snuggled close for another hug then turned and went up another direction.  

 I got the message from the God today.  He used His friend , Lover Boy to tell me that no matter how powerful, strong and mighty God is, he is so gentle with me.   I know why too – “I’m His favorite!”

Learning to Dance

Watering the grass on the bottom of the little hill has always been problematic.  It’s got a few obstacles working against it.  Gravity makes the water runs off but also the soil has so much silt that the water washes over it.  Doug decided that we needed some sort of retainer to hold in the moisture so it could soak better.    He brought home a ten foot beam to become the barrier.  We only needed to dig down and sink it about five inches for it to be stable.   I wanted to do the job - I love digging!  Doug unloaded a trailer on the far side of the yard while I began the easy task at the base of the hill… so I thought.

My tools were gathered and I surveyed how I was going to attack this project.  I decided that first of all I had to dig in a straight line.  I pulled out the grass over my imaginary line and drug my shovel over the top of the soil to mark my digging path.  After I had the line drawn, I began sinking the shovel sideways down the path. Several times the blade of my trowel bounced off as it had met the edge of the blacktop that was hidden beneath the dirt.   I chipped away at the blacktop whose edges had hardened when it originally oozed over the border until a straight edge emerged.

 The side with the blacktop was a challenge, but not near so much as the side with dirt.  Every time I’d try to make a distinct edge with the trowel, it back filled with sand.   I had to dig wider to accommodate, but proudly finished the job!  I called Doug over to look at my completed placement of the board.  He smiled and said, “Great job, but you gotta go deeper to make it work right.”  Urgh!!! 

Determined I went back to work alone on my project.  I yanked the board out the hole to start on the project again.  Deeper, Wider, Chipping at the Blacktop, Sand back filling and now the morning coolness was gone. Over and over again until I could get it right.  Sweat was running down my head under my wig and my foot was starting to hurt.  Mumbling to myself that this was a stupid project with no end in sight, it was there, I heard Him gently speak so clearly.  Isn’t this when God always does?  Or maybe we just are ready to listen?

 “Deeper, Wider, Chipping at the Blacktop, Sand back filling” You see, I have been so frustrated lately.  My goal has just been to get healthy.    Although I am cancer free right now – chemo really does a number on your body.   My hair hasn’t grown in right even 6 month later and the doctor says this isn’t typical, I lost all my nails so they are now growing in – but that included ingrown toenails, I need four crowns on my teeth and two root canals- it wrecks your teeth.  The medication I’m on makes me retain water which in turn caused me to have planter fasciitis – stretched tendons under my foot so my special morning walks are on hold, did I mention warts on my hand that needed to  burned off?.   .  This is just a small list of things they don’t tell you during treatment.   I heard it again…

“Deeper, Wider, Chipping at the Blacktop, Sand back filling” Yeah, Lord I get it, it’s frustrating!  What’s the deal?  I slumped down for a moment on the edge of driveway.  I was a mess of dirt, sweat and lack of hope of ever finishing.   God moved closer and I felt His love melt over me and say “Lynn, I’m right here and I have so enjoyed our special time and my favorites are when you draw so close, we dance as one. “   The bells went off in my sprit. Oh my Gosh... I got it Lord!  You see, God has had a different goal for me than getting healthy.  Yes, He wants me whole, but He’s never changed His game plan since the day I was born and that goal is for me to draw closer to Him.   When I change my goal to His, there is a whole new perspective on life’s little inconveniences.   They are places to take advantage of rather than places to stumble and complain.  

He is building a foundation in me too like the board in my yard.  This structure is meant to bring life to the dry areas of my soul. The board He is laying is a process that includes: deepening my love for Him, making my faith wider, chipping at areas where I’ve lost hope and even facing my failures over and over again.   

I stood to my feet and dug deeper and wider until the area was cleared, smooth and leveled. I was finally done.  My hands hurt from the grip of the blade and I was hot as the sun baked my body. At long last the board dropped into place.  This time it was perfect.  It’s funny, no one that passes by the front of my home will ever know it had to be deeper, wider, chipped in to fit or that the sand kept filing in, to me, that crazy board has been another beautiful dance.